Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Next Generation of Nerds


This summer will be remembered as the summer we unleashed the next generation of nerds when we all started watching, “Star Trek The Next Generation,” together.

For my husband and I, this is a trip down memory lane. We’re so old and these episodes are so old that they’re new to us. I suppose we could have waited until actual senile dementia set in, then they’d be really new but generally we can’t remember the plots just the characters.

“Star Trek Next Generation,” holds up pretty well. There are some 80s hairdos even on these supposedly futuristic people and some of the acting is a bit clunky and the other day we noticed that one background was obviously painted. But the plots and the characters are still great and they beat the hell out of “Drake and Josh,” or “The Suite Life of Zack and Codey.”

Now that we have inducted them into “Star Trek The Next Generation” we will boldly go on to other cultural touchstones. We’ll force them to listen to Bob Dylan and make them watch “I Dream of Jeanie,” reruns. OK, full disclosure: William is already listening to The Rolling Stones, Green Day, and INXS. He discovered Elvis from “The Blues Brothers,” and my husband turned him on to Michael Jackson when he showed him the "Thriller" video on YouTube. So much of what they watch and listen to comes from us.

I don’t know what this will mean for their future. Will they be unable to relate to their peers? Is this the equivalent of being into Frank Sinatra and Frankie Valli in my day? Nah. Somehow I’m sure our kids will free themselves from our culture to find their own.But first we have a small window in which to brainwash – I mean educate – I mean expose them to our culture.

As for “Star Trek,” I think imagining a galaxy jumping, peaceful human race of the future has to be a good thing for our kids. It’s better than pirates, more imaginative than cowboys or cops and robbers and it makes space travel look as simple as catching a train.

Who knows? Maybe by the time my kids are parents, they’ll be laughing about “Star Trek,” as they catch the shuttle to the moon or vacation on Mars. “Star Trek” makes us believe that none of it is an impossible dream.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My Dancing Boy Sees Magic at American Ballet Theater tour



My 10-year-old son Will got all dressed up in a suit and tie yesterday when we took a tour backstage at American Ballet Theater where our good friend Kathleen Moore Tovar was once a principle ballerina.

And there on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera before the red and gold theater spread out before him like a jewel box, my young dancer got to take a bow. He also got to do a few leaps across the stage between rehearsals.

It was a magical day and one that I hope will stay with Will, who has taken ballet since he was 6, if he ever does become a dancer. The costumes, the scenery, the grace of those beautiful dancers, were all very dream-like even for a novice like me who barely knows a jeteƩ from a jamboree.

My young dancer also got to do a few leaps on the stage when the performers had left the stage. The costumes, the scenery, the beautiful dancers, were all part of the incredible tour that our friend Kathleen Moore Tovar, a former prima ballerina at ABT, gave us on Monday.

Will’s eyes turned wide when Kathleen took us backstage and showed us the huge elevator that is as big as our garage used to transports scenery. We tiptoed backstage to see the company finishing the first act of “Sylvia,” and costumed dancers began leaving the stage, many of them greeting Kathleen, who has been retired for 10 years but who still keeps in touch with members of the company.

There was a beautiful old-fashioned sailing ship at the back of the stage with blue striped sails and Becket and Will both got to sit inside it. One of the backstage people told us that it moves by human power. They simply push and pull it across the stage. Both boys were thrilled at this magical boat even if it doesn’t move.

Backstage we peered at a table of props including two treasure boxes seemingly brimming over with jewels. A little further away was a fake deer hanging upside down as if the hunter Orion who falls in love with Sylvia in the ballet had just shot it.

Our group traipsed past boxes of costumes for Swan Lake marked with Japanese writing and a huge cart full of plastic bags for the dancer’s slippers. Then we tiptoed through the area where the principal’s dressing rooms are and where Kathleen once had her dressing room (now a massage room). The halls are covered in red velvet and the principal’s dressing room we saw had a chaise lounge and a lighted mirror just as you would imagine a star dressing room should look.

I loved seeing the rows of sumptuous costumes of princes and royalty covered with jewels and brocade and a knight’s costume of some kind with metallic sleeves. Will and Becket popped into the men’s dressing room. Then we peeked into the make-up room where there were wigs and horns along a shelf and a make-up artist was getting a swirl of blue make-up applied to his face. Kathleen explained that ballet dancers generally apply their own make-up unless they are playing a role requiring difficult, dramatic make-up.

Next on the tour, we went down to the bottom floor where the studios were and Will remarked that the studio had ballet bars just like his. (He’s just 10 after all). We had a snack in the canteen and watched ballet dancers coming in and out in full make-up. Kathleen still knows many of the dancers and she’s friendly to everyone. She always introduced Will as a ballet dancer when we met someone.

In the basement, we happened upon a man coming from the set design section of the basement whose overalls and tees-shirt were covered in gray muck, who invited us to go through the section where they were making scenery for the operas.

The four of us went in and there were some men working on what locked like piles of rocks and rubble that on closer inspection was made of plaster. The men told us that they were working on scenery of an earthquake for “Attila the Hun,” and that it was designed by the same architect who did the Olympic “bird’s nest” in Beijing. There was also a faux brick stadium for “Carmen,” and we took pictures of Will and Kathleen’s son, Becket, on the stairs.

We went upstairs to watch the tech rehearsal and slipped into a soundproof booth at the back and center of the theater where we had a wonderful view of the stage and could chat away with anyone hearing us. We could hear all the techies talking during the rehearsal. “Cue the lightning,” one would say. “Eros is coming in at the left,” another would say.

All those directions gave us a sense of the odd plot of the show, which has something to do with Sylvia, a follower of Diana, shooting the shepherd, Aminta to protect the God of love, Eros. A hunter named Orion kidnaps Aminta and she somehow escapes and at the end Diana shoots Orion and is ready to shoot Aminta too when Eros shows her a vision of her own young love and they all live happily ever after. A few ballet dancers told us it wasn’t their favorite ballet because there’s not much story or opportunity to act.

At any rate, the production was sumptuous with beautiful gold clouds in the background of a Roman temple. Even the gold curtain with its many loops was fabulous. The music by Leo Delibes is beautiful and it made a huge difference having an orchestra perform the music. (We got to peek in at the orchestra pit during a break).

As Will and I and Becket watched, Kathleen critiqued the performance more for her benefit than ours. ‘Oops, watch out,” she’d say to the dancers, or “That was a nice move.” Or she’d say, “That was kind of awkward.” But mostly she was full of praise for the dancers, pointing out how talented the principle dancers were.

We sat for a few minutes in the audience and then slipped behind stage again as they finished their rehearsal to the applause of some invited guests.
Will has always loved dancing even before he ever took ballet. But for the past two years, there’s been plenty of competition with ballet: school plays, basketball and baseball. He sometimes gets tired of the constant practice and demands of ballet and he gets more pats on the back for the baseball. I worry about what happens when he goes to middle school and ballet is no longer acceptable.

So it’s nice to have one day that shows him ballet at its shining best. If he does happen to set his sights on being a dancer, he can aim for the stars and try to get back on that stage again when there’s an audience sitting in that beautiful theater.

I’ll be there applauding whatever he chooses and even he becomes a dog catcher, at least now we can say he once stood on the stage at the Metropolitan Opera.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Explaining Michael Jackson's death to the next generation fan

My younger son is a Michael Jackson fan. He discovered him himself through the magic of the Internet and something about his music and his dancing connected with him. One of his favorite presents at Christmas was "Thriller." (He also loved his Elvis CD. Go figure).

I liked Michael Jackson myself when I was about 12 and he was cute and had the same voice range as me. But in later years, he seemed to become more and more alien and I never doubted there was some truth to the rumors despite his being acquitted of child molestation. So I held my breath when my son went on the Internet to find out about Jackson. When he announced that he had been reading about him, I paused. "What did you find out?" I asked. "I found out he's been living in Europe and he's moving back to the United States." Phew.

Yesterday was W.'s birthday: the big 10. We went out to the Shore and spent the day at the beach in a rare afternoon of sunshine. Then we headed out to dinner. Everyone was talking about Jackson's death but my impulse was to shield my son. It was his birthday, after all, and I didn't want that particular black cloud to land on his birthday.

I'm sure he'll find out about Jackson's death today and I have that same uneasy feeling. I know he'll want to watch some of the coverage but I hate for him to find out about Jackson's darker side. It makes me queasy and I know he'd be disillusioned to find out about this creepy chapter in his hero's life. Then we'd have to explain the whole thing to him when he doesn't even know the facts of life yet.

I'm sure there will be an endless tide of media coverage washing onto the shore and in the end, I probably can't protect my son. So we'll have to talk to him about Jackson's death. As for the rest of it, I'll wait to see what W. picks up. I'd rather he remember how talented Jackson was than to remember all that other stuff. Come to think of it, I'd rather remember him that way myself.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

First day of summer

The task now is to relax into the rhythm of the summer now that my kids are out of school. That's more of a problem for me than my kids. They seem to have it down. As we speak, my older son is immersed in his computer games while my younger son blasts a CD. Ah summer.

We tried to get into the spirit of things yesterday afternoon with a long walk into town for ice cream with two other families followed by a play date, then out for pizza. The parents sat outside enjoying a post-pizza beer, while the boys went running around playing their own version of hide and seek. We had some rare moments of sunshine before the sun dropped down into a pink sky and then twilight. I started to feel like it just might be summer.

Today we all were happily sleeping late before being woken by the blood curdling screams of my older son R. who was stung by a yellow jacket. My husband dispatched the offending bug and R. spent the rest of the morning on the couch. Is this a sign? Probably not. If anything it's a sign that summer isn't all strawberries and ice-cream but I think I knew that already.

I have a host of jobs to do around the house but I'm in a bit of a first day of vacation fog myself. I suddenly find myself unemployed for the summer after my class was canceled. That means I'm free to do all those projects on my plate, including writing. Unfortunately, I still find myself pulled in all directions: clean the house, hang out with the kids, work outside, plan the kids' birthday parties. My leisurely summer is never quite so leisurely as I imagine and maybe that's a good thing.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dreading summer

Would it be wrong of me to say that I dread the summer with my kids out of school for a whole month. OK, maybe dread is too strong a word. I just haven't gotten into summer mode yet and it feels like I've forgotten how to relax. I've spent so much time being the drill sergeant, I don't know if I can go back to being the recreation director.

I know it will be fun having the kids home and they're going to be 10 and 12 so they're big enough to amuse themselves. I think I can sum up my anxiety with two words: video games. My kids are addicted and I anticipate an entire summer playing computer police when they'd like nothing better than to play computer games from sunup to sundown and beyond.

We'll do lots of activities and we'll splash around in the pool every day. I also will be encouraging them - OK forcing them - to read, practice the piano and do a little bit of review school work. I've never done that before but they struggled this year so we're going to have to do some schoolwork. Come to think of it, maybe my policing days aren't over.

If I'm honest the other thing I'm dreading is that I won't find any time for myself. I'll be sucked into the full-time mom thing and forget that I'm trying to write every day. I'll stop having adult conversations. I'm sure I will find a way to do both but I guess I've become selfish about my time.

But all that aside, summer is my favorite season. All these scenarios I'm griping about? The lack of a schedule, the long lazy days? I love all that. I just have to learn again how to stop rushing around like a crazy person and read a book or sit by the pool. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it with a little practice.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Swine Flu Blues

If you're unlucky enough to have a kid come down with a fever right now, then you're likely to be told that your kid has to stay home for seven days. That means they miss their last week of school and their parents get them home for an extra day.

My friend's son is just getting over the flu. No one can tell her if it's actually the swine flu but he has to stay home from middle school for a full week regardless. Even when his fever is over and he's jumping around the house, he'll still be home playing video games.

He's missing the ice-cream social and the bowling trip and my friend is mad as hell. But this is apparently a policy coming straight from the Centers for Disease Control, so doctors aren't willing to override it.

I sympathize with my friend. I'm sure I would be less than thrilled if my kid had to stay home for a week even after he got better. But looking at the CDC recommendations, it's clear that they are recommending students stay home rather than recommending school closures. This is a worldwide pandemic after all and even though the symptoms seem mild in most cases, we know that people have died who had the swine flu. Staying home exposes fewer people.

Swine flu or H1N1 (which is much less catchy) seems to affect people ages 5 to 24 the most. But the first swine flu victim in New Jersey, a 49-year-old man, was confirmed this past Monday. New Jersey now has 320 confirmed cases of swine flu in 19 counties, with an additional 194 probable cases, Commissioner Heather Howard of the Department of Health and Senior Services said, according to nj.com.

As of June 12, there were 17,855 confirmed cases of H1N1 flu in the United States, with 45 deaths. The states reporting the most deaths were New York with 13, California with six, and Arizona and Illinois, both with five, according to nj.com.

Here's what the CDC says about symptoms:

"The symptoms of novel H1N1 flu virus in people are similar to the symptoms of seasonal flu and include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. A significant number of people who have been infected with this virus also have reported diarrhea and vomiting."

They recommend that you prevent being infected by washing hands often with warm water. (I count to 30 but kids can sing the ABC song to wash long enough), covering hands and mouth with a tissue when you sneeze and throwing the tissue away and avoiding exposure to sick people. (Duh!)

As a substitute teacher and mom, I have to say I would hate it if my kids had to stay home with this thing but I would hate it even more if some well-meaning yet badly informed mom exposed my kids to their sick kid. So, pass the Purell please and if your kids sick, turn on the TV and ride it out. This is a bad bug and it might be here for a while.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Playground Diplomacy

I worked in a kindergarten classroom last week and monitored the kids while they were out on the playground. I was amazed once again to see all the energy, the imagination, the sheer wildness of kids on the playground. Then too, there were the hurt feelings, the tales of names being called and unfairness at the (pint sized) basketball hoop.

So, I was delighted to see that when we got back from the playground, the teacher sat the kids down and asked them to talk about what happened out there. "Did anyone play a different game today?" A couple of kids raised their hands and said they had tried jump rope.

"Did anyone play with someone different today?" A couple of hands shot in the air and the teacher served as judge. "You've played with Amy before though right Adam?" she told one boy. "Oh, you played with David and you've really never played together before? Good for you!"

Then she asked them to talk about any negative experiences. "Was anyone sad or upset by anything on the playground?" One little boy raised his hand. "Billy punched me in the face in the cafeteria," he told the teacher.

"Billy, what do you have to say for yourself?" she demanded. "I didn't punch him. I put my fist on his face and it didn't hurt," the little boy responded. "That's no excuse. You never put your hands on someone else," she told him sternly. "What do you have to say for yourself." "Sorry," he mumbled to the other boy.

I told the teacher how great it was that she asks the kids to talk about what goes on on the playground since so much of their interactions take place out there. "I don't want anything to go underground," she told me. "So it's worth it to me to take 20 minutes every day and talk through what happens out there."

These little people are saving themselves years of therapy bills or at least learning a skill that it takes many people well into adulthood to learn (and that some never learn). I wish other teachers in upper grades, where there's really a lot of playground politics, some of it not so pretty, would follow this smart teacher's example.