Thursday, February 7, 2008

Dilemna of the anti-gun mom

When my kids were little I could protect them from violence on TV and video games and I could prevent them from ever having guns or violent toys of any kind.
But since then, I've been falling down a slipper slope. I let them go to lazer tag games even though it clearly involves kids firing at each other. Why? Because it's fun and I don't want to be so politically correct that I won't let them have fun.
I've also allowed swords but not guns in the house although some water guns have made their way in - only to be put on a shelf or discreetly hidden by me.
Then we got a new X-Box for Christmas and my brother gave us several games - most of which had a teen rating. Before I knew what had happened, the boys were playing a video game in which they shoot down airplanes. Honestly, it seems pretty harmless even though it's rated Teen but there were others that I put up on the shelf while 8-year-old W. wailed about how it's not fair and his cousins play the games and they're only 4 and 7. "Every family has different rules," I told him.
I've told my kids how I feel about it. They know that "Mommy hates guns." But I feel like I've already been too lax about what I've allowed. This has led to some funny conversations. Their argument about laser tag: "It's like a gasoline nozzle, not a gun." Their argument about the video games, "There's nothing wrong with shooting. It's fun!" These arguments make me want to throw out all the guns.
And then there's TV where I don't allow them to watch adult TV or even much TV at all but where they usually plunk themselves in front of 'The Today Show" in the morning and learn all about Britney Spears' drug problems and the murder of the day.
Several studies, including a recent study at the University of Michigan, have found a link between children watching violent TV or playing violent video games and aggressive behavior both as children and later in life. (For an article on the study see ScienceDaily http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/11/071127142134.htm).

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

piano lesson nightmares

Both my boys are taking piano lessons and our piano teacher is a friend who is a wonderful musician but an impatient teacher. I've always thought this was OK because R. and W. need someone to light a fire under them. But our piano lessons are torture so sometimes I wonder whether they should be taking lessons or at least taking lessons with this teacher.
R. has to be poked and prodded to practice and I have to sit with him and I have to remind him to count. So he's not really taking responsibility for practicing himself. When I try to talk to him about it he says he doesn't want to stop lessons. If I force the issue, he says that he wants to play but he doesn't want to practice. This is what everybody says about piano. But I sympathize.
W. has no trouble practicing. He's such a go-go kid, he's always looking for something to do anyway. So W. is moving ahead and, in fact, is now in R's piano book even though he started several months after R.
T., their piano teacher, says that R. starts playing and then when he tries to correct him, he falls apart and loses energy and just seems to space out. Is this a reaction to T. yelling at him? I don't know. I know part of it is a function of R.'s ADHD. He just has tremendous difficulty concentrating and we're going to see his pediatrician tomorrow to see if we should increase his medicine. Meanwhile, I guess we'll keep soldiering on and see if things improve. I sometimes wonder if it's worth it or if we should be switching teachers despite my friendship with T. Sigh.