I have succumbed to holiday stress. Between ferrying the kids to piano, volunteering for my choir's silent auction, trying to buy gifts online, picking up my husband from the train stationa nd then driving my other son at ballet, I could feel my heart pounding and my stomach churning and I could swear I sensed my blood pressure skyrocketing.
It probably started with my online shopping trip to Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com where hours of price comparisons finally revealed - surprise: the prices are about the same. But at the root of it all, is money stress. What else is new? A survey the American Psychological Association found that 61 percent of Americans are stressed for the same reason so at least I'm in good company. www.apa.org/releases/holidaystress.html and the blog On Women by Deborah Kotz, has more details about the study which shows that more women are experiencing holiday stress over gift giving than men (41 percent to 35 percent). www.usnews.com/blogs/on-women/2008/12/12/why-women-are-prone-to-holiday-stress.html. But those of us who have been agonizing over the whole gifts from Santa thing are way ahead of the APA. We know in our gut (literally) that it's all about the money. They have several practical suggestions about how to cope with stress: make connections, set realistic goals, take decisive actionn to deal with the root causes of the stress and take care of yourself. And I agree with all of the suggestions, especially the part about making connections. I'm just having trouble making connections becauase of my tremendous Christmas deadline pressure. I'm meditating and doing yoga and walking, I'm eating right. But I'm having trouble finding the Christmas spirit. I'm sure lots of people feel the same way.
I'm sure it's nothing a few Christmas carols and some cookies can't cure. But in the meanwhile, I have late Christmas cards to send and more gifts to buy and food to prepare and the list goes on and on and on.........
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Christmas shopping
I do everything at the last minute so it's no surprise that I generally leave Christmas shopping until a couple of weeks before Christmas. I am trying to be zen about this because it seems I will never be one of those women, like one good friend, who has all of her shopping done by now and all the presents wrapped, labeled and under the tree.
I'm OK with the last minute shopping but this year is a bit tough because we are trying to economize or at least be more careful about what we do buy. So, like many people, we will not have a huge gift extravaganza but we will plenty of gifts, especially for our kids.
My boys have held on to Santa for all these years but now I don't hear much about Santa. Earlier in the year, my younger son, W., said it was OK if we didn't have as much money this year because Santa could get him anything. But I think someone has tipped him off because I don't hear that much this year.
In fact, I think my boys are protecting us by not telling us that they have stopped believing. So nobody is even mentioning the big guy in the red suit. This is a little sad but I don't see any way around it until someone comes right out and says what they believe. I tried a tentative, "How are you feeling about Santa these days?" But I didn't word the question very well and all I got was a noncomittal, "Good." Hey, I feel good about Santa too. Who wouldn't?
I have a feeling we'll still have gifts from Santa anyway until they're 30 years old or so. We're big traditionalists around here.
While I fret about Christmas, my house has gotten to that level of messy where you can't even think about cleaning it unless you own a back hoe. But our tree is up and I've gotten most of my presents for my kids and my nephews.
I am resolved to try to preserve the Christmas spirit despite the last minute anxiety, the bleak economic news and my messy house. But right now I need a little ho ho ho in my mojo.
I'm OK with the last minute shopping but this year is a bit tough because we are trying to economize or at least be more careful about what we do buy. So, like many people, we will not have a huge gift extravaganza but we will plenty of gifts, especially for our kids.
My boys have held on to Santa for all these years but now I don't hear much about Santa. Earlier in the year, my younger son, W., said it was OK if we didn't have as much money this year because Santa could get him anything. But I think someone has tipped him off because I don't hear that much this year.
In fact, I think my boys are protecting us by not telling us that they have stopped believing. So nobody is even mentioning the big guy in the red suit. This is a little sad but I don't see any way around it until someone comes right out and says what they believe. I tried a tentative, "How are you feeling about Santa these days?" But I didn't word the question very well and all I got was a noncomittal, "Good." Hey, I feel good about Santa too. Who wouldn't?
I have a feeling we'll still have gifts from Santa anyway until they're 30 years old or so. We're big traditionalists around here.
While I fret about Christmas, my house has gotten to that level of messy where you can't even think about cleaning it unless you own a back hoe. But our tree is up and I've gotten most of my presents for my kids and my nephews.
I am resolved to try to preserve the Christmas spirit despite the last minute anxiety, the bleak economic news and my messy house. But right now I need a little ho ho ho in my mojo.
Endings and Beginnings
I'm in mourning over the loss of my parenting column, Family Matters, for the Times of Trenton. But I am trying to move forward with my blog which has been sorely neglected for the past several months.
I wrote my column for more than eight years and started it when my son W. was just 10 months old. One of my first columns was about my trip to Washington with a friend for the Million Mom March in 2000 and Will wasn't yet 1 yet, so I was still in what one friend once called "the baby haze." Happily. I had Will when I was 40 years old and I was thrilled to have children. But I did put my career on hold somewhat, although I kept freelancing and then began my column. For a copy of my final column, go to http://www.nj.com/living/times/index.ssf.
The column was a kind of touchstone for me - a place where I recorded many of my family's milestones, like the death of our family dog and my children going off to kindergarten and then middle school last year. I sometimes met people I had fallen out of touch with who said they felt they knew what was going on with me through my column. So I'm hoping the blog can serve a similar function. I haven't quite figured out how to do this blogging this but I'm willing to give it a try.
I wrote my column for more than eight years and started it when my son W. was just 10 months old. One of my first columns was about my trip to Washington with a friend for the Million Mom March in 2000 and Will wasn't yet 1 yet, so I was still in what one friend once called "the baby haze." Happily. I had Will when I was 40 years old and I was thrilled to have children. But I did put my career on hold somewhat, although I kept freelancing and then began my column. For a copy of my final column, go to http://www.nj.com/living/times/index.ssf.
The column was a kind of touchstone for me - a place where I recorded many of my family's milestones, like the death of our family dog and my children going off to kindergarten and then middle school last year. I sometimes met people I had fallen out of touch with who said they felt they knew what was going on with me through my column. So I'm hoping the blog can serve a similar function. I haven't quite figured out how to do this blogging this but I'm willing to give it a try.
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