Vaccination Education

The new swine flu vaccines will be available this fall and in all likelihood, my kids, who both have mild asthma, will be getting them.

I’m not ambivalent about this at all really. If there’s a chance that it will keep them (and all of us) from spending the winter sick, then sign us all up. And since I learned today that August is “Immunization Awareness Month,” (Who knew?), I’m thinking about all those parents who are more skeptical of vaccines or oppose them outright.

With more parents opting not to immunize their children, the larger question is how that decision might affect the rest of us. The Responsibility Project asked the question whether the responsibility of parents who make this decision extends beyond their kids. An official from the CDC points out in the blog that parents who don’t immunize could put others, including newborns and people with suppressed immune systems, at serious risk.

People forget that immunizations have eradicated diseases like polio, which affected 13,000 to 20,000 people each year until a vaccine was developed, leaving thousands disabled for life.

Still, I sympathize with people like my friend Shannon, who says she wants the flexibility to make vaccination decisions for her three girls, ages 4, 9 and 13. Many doctors, she says, are not willing to discuss the pros and cons of vaccinations or be flexible about when they're administered.

"I'm not totally opposed to vaccinations, I see that they've done good," she says. "But they've also quite possibly done bad, and I want to be able to make this decision. I don't want this imposed on me."

Opponents contend the preservatives formaldehyde and thimerasol found in the flu vaccine may be related to developmental problems, including autism.

After review of the numerous studies on that theory, the Institute of Medicine has concluded there is no relationship between thimerasol and developmental problems in children. But, just for parents' peace of mind, there are flu vaccines that do not contain thimerasol.

Dr. Robert Helmrich, of Princeton Nassau Pediatrics in Princeton, N.J., agrees that parents have nothing to fear from vaccines "There's a lot of misinformation out there,” he says. Anyone can write anything on the Internet."

* Some information in this article is from my Family Matters parenting column “Immunization Effects Reach Far,” Oct. 20, 2008.
Photo from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

Money Talks Postscript

The boys went off on their own and came back with a fistful of dollars. So, I guess we've learned that they can be responsible (although they also got some help from a friend, I think).

Then today my husband sent them off to the store with $10 and they biked to the store by themselves. This is a whole new era. Yahoo!

Talk Is Cheap and Money Talks

It’s always been hard trying to teach my children about the value of money but now that we have less of it, it’s become essential.

The problem is when they don’t get to spend their own money, then they have no sense of the value of money. We’ve been talking to them about how we’re tightening our belts but talk is cheap and money talks.

So today when I sent my kids off to an amusement park at the beach, I entrusted them each with about $30 and then talked to them about how they should spend it: $15 for the amusement park, $6 for the aquarium, $2 for the beach and about $5 spending money.

Now I have to sit back and wait to see if they a. lose the money, b. spend it all on boardwalk games or c. come back with any change.

My kids get one dollar for allowance so $30 is a lot of money to them. Come to think of it, it’s getting so it’s a lot of money for me. Fortunately, they’ll be there with friends so I don’t have to worry about wether they’ll get home OK if they blow it all on those water guns to try and win a stuffed animal.

If they lose their money or blow their money on the boardwalk, that’s a lesson too (for both of us), although I suspect my friends will bail them out. Only time will tell whether this will be a cautionary tale for all of us. But I’m hoping it’s the beginning of a new era and that if you give kids responsibility, they’ll act responsible. (Gulp).

Photo from media.merchantcircle.com

The Queen of Mean Cracks the Whip

This is the summer when I started to crack the whip with my kids. Or maybe it’s the summer I decided I was done with being the only cook and scullery maid in the household.

For the first time, I’ve insisted my kids help clean up the house. I make them do dishes and sweep and I force them to (gasp) put away their clothes and neaten up the living room.

“When are we going to be done?” they wailed this morning while I was in the middle of a good whip cracking. “When we’re done,” I snapped. (I’m pretty sure I was channeling my own mother when I said this).

It’s late afternoon now and they did not, in fact work all day. And when they did work they were um – slow. That’s the nicest way to put it. My older son put a stool in the bathroom so he could sit while he sprayed the counter. My younger son periodically lay down on the couch.

But I did teach R. how to sweep with two hands and I succeeded in getting my younger one to take out the garbage. They learned how to fold blankets and they hung their shirts on hangers. It was very satisfying for me. Not so much for them.

Sadly, their pain is the very thing that cures what ails me in my house. I would be singing the blues all summer if I allowed them to turn the house into a hovel. My head would explode if I cleaned up while they lounged watching TV. I would become a witch or something that sounds like a witch.

In my quest for help, I have had to endure long lawyerly arguments from my older son about why he shouldn’t clean his room. I have had to threaten to take away dessert, computers, and television. I have set timers. I have yelled and cajoled.

My younger son scored a point or two when he pointed out (rightly) that my room was a mess and I just close the door and don’t let anyone in it. Touché, young man. But I replied (truthfully) that I am also working on my own room so it wouldn’t be so messy and that I don’t have play dates in my room. (Ahem!)

Always in the back of my mind, iare those future wives or girlfriends who either love me or hate me. They’re either married to the guys who sit on the couch in their underwear flicking through the channels with the remote and scraching their bellies or they’re married to the guy who picks up the living room and knows how to sweep. Maybe they won’t thank me if my sons sweep but at least they won’t curse me out.

But more importantly, my kids need to know that running a house is hard work. When they wail that they hate housework, I always reply (or snarl depending on my mood), “So do I.” And in the next breath, I say, “Now, get back to work.”

Maybe they think I’m the queen of mean but at least I’m avoiding becoming the sovereign of insanity. At least not for now.

Image from online.wsj.com