My older son wrote a school paper that was all about how stupid he thinks his brother is. I discovered it as I looked for a ruler with his brother and I quickly moved it so he wouldn't see it. I was absolutely devastated that he would write such things. My older son at first said I shouldn't have been looking at it. But then I pointed out that he left it out on the desk and his brother could have seen it. I said those were very hurtful words and his younger brother would be very hurt if he saw them. He said his brother wasn't meant to see them and that it was a school assignment based on a book about a pesky younger brother and all the kids were writing about the same thing. "Since when do you care what other kids are doing?" i asked. "I do care," he said.
I came into his room before he went to sleep to talk to him some more. "Were you jealous of Will last weekend?" He nodded. "Were you feeling a little bit mad?" He nodded again. "I understand that," I said. "But you have to remember the power of words. When you write it down, it's very powerful." But then I started to think that maybe writing it down makes him feel better. I don't know. The whole incident left me feeling very sad and we had just been putting up our Christmas tree.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Ballet boy
My younger son, Will, is a ballet dancer. He begged us to take ballet at age 6. We had taken him to see "the Nutcracker" each year and when he was maybe 4, he had two little girlfriends who would dance around reenacting the Nutcracker. "You can't play with us because you're a boy," they informed him. "But the Nutcracker is a boy!" I told them. "Didn't you see the Nutcracker? There are plenty of boy dancers." So they allowed Will to dance and he's been dancing ever since.
Anyway at age 6, he insisted on taking ballet and last year he was in his dance school's production as a party boy and an angel. He reprised those roles again this year and I could really see an improvement through five - count them five- performances. Snore. Don't get me wrong, I love the "Nutcracker" and in truth, I only saw five, but I got very tired of it by the end and it was exhausting. I'm not sure why it was exhausting, I think it was the anxiety of seeing your child performing and wondering whether he was under too much pressure. He was very serious and quiet on Saturday and not himself and my husband I obsessed over whether he was OK and wether we should have allowed him to perform. But by Sunday morning he was back to his old self again
On Sunday, I made sure to be a good stage mom and be backstage helping him with his make-up and tying his tie and taking pictures. I think he is kind of at a loss back there by himself. But honestly, I think he's probably fine and he's certainly able to be independent. He did it all himself Friday night because we had to be at our older son's Shakespeare production. Of course they were the same night.
But I digress. I wanted to write about my husband, the ballet dad. Now my husband is many things to the children. He has worked with them on their baseball and on Will's basketball. He draws with them. He roughhouses with them and I'm in charge of piano and music and maybe also homework and reading. At least a lot of the time. But neither my husband nor I know anything about ballet. But my husband loves the Nutcracker. He always went as a kid and it has some magic power for him. Plus he loves seeing Will perform. As a result, he takes him to all the rehearsals when he can, hangs out backstage and has gotten to know all the other ballet parents, most of whom are moms (although I saw one dad doing a wonderful job on his daughter's bun backstage). This is an amazing metamorphosis for my husband. I think he understands how seriously our son takes it and he also gets how hard it is, having watched everyone rehearsing. I think it's made a big difference for Will having his Dad there and may help him stay with it if other kids tease him, as I suspect they will. But I also find it touching that he is there cheering him on as he is at his baseball games and his basketball games and his soccer games. As he explains it, he know snothing about ballet, so all he can do is cheer him on. I find this liberating. The most i can offer by way of help is "Smile more." The director of the ballet school once told me she can't wait until Will is older so she can give him some (insert some French phrases for complicated ballet moves). I would like to repeat this story to Will if he keeps with his ballet or becomes the next Baryshnikov but all I would be able to tell him is the famous ballerina told him she would gie him some rondoles and fa fa fas." Oh well. I can still tell him when he hits a wrong note on the piano.
Will brought his Nutcracker and a new ornament we brought him and a photo and program to school. We hold our breath each time he does this but we want him to be proud of himself. And it was fine as it always has been. But one day it won't be and I'm not sure what we'll do about that. Another mom with a boy who dances told me "the best defense is a good offense" and she sends her son to school with pictures and has him invite everyone to come see him dance. It's not a bad strategy. But I know there will be remarks and teasing in years to come if Will sticks with it and I wonder if that will put an end to his dancing. He loves to dance and I hope he can get through whatever is ahead so that he can keep dancing.
Anyway at age 6, he insisted on taking ballet and last year he was in his dance school's production as a party boy and an angel. He reprised those roles again this year and I could really see an improvement through five - count them five- performances. Snore. Don't get me wrong, I love the "Nutcracker" and in truth, I only saw five, but I got very tired of it by the end and it was exhausting. I'm not sure why it was exhausting, I think it was the anxiety of seeing your child performing and wondering whether he was under too much pressure. He was very serious and quiet on Saturday and not himself and my husband I obsessed over whether he was OK and wether we should have allowed him to perform. But by Sunday morning he was back to his old self again
On Sunday, I made sure to be a good stage mom and be backstage helping him with his make-up and tying his tie and taking pictures. I think he is kind of at a loss back there by himself. But honestly, I think he's probably fine and he's certainly able to be independent. He did it all himself Friday night because we had to be at our older son's Shakespeare production. Of course they were the same night.
But I digress. I wanted to write about my husband, the ballet dad. Now my husband is many things to the children. He has worked with them on their baseball and on Will's basketball. He draws with them. He roughhouses with them and I'm in charge of piano and music and maybe also homework and reading. At least a lot of the time. But neither my husband nor I know anything about ballet. But my husband loves the Nutcracker. He always went as a kid and it has some magic power for him. Plus he loves seeing Will perform. As a result, he takes him to all the rehearsals when he can, hangs out backstage and has gotten to know all the other ballet parents, most of whom are moms (although I saw one dad doing a wonderful job on his daughter's bun backstage). This is an amazing metamorphosis for my husband. I think he understands how seriously our son takes it and he also gets how hard it is, having watched everyone rehearsing. I think it's made a big difference for Will having his Dad there and may help him stay with it if other kids tease him, as I suspect they will. But I also find it touching that he is there cheering him on as he is at his baseball games and his basketball games and his soccer games. As he explains it, he know snothing about ballet, so all he can do is cheer him on. I find this liberating. The most i can offer by way of help is "Smile more." The director of the ballet school once told me she can't wait until Will is older so she can give him some (insert some French phrases for complicated ballet moves). I would like to repeat this story to Will if he keeps with his ballet or becomes the next Baryshnikov but all I would be able to tell him is the famous ballerina told him she would gie him some rondoles and fa fa fas." Oh well. I can still tell him when he hits a wrong note on the piano.
Will brought his Nutcracker and a new ornament we brought him and a photo and program to school. We hold our breath each time he does this but we want him to be proud of himself. And it was fine as it always has been. But one day it won't be and I'm not sure what we'll do about that. Another mom with a boy who dances told me "the best defense is a good offense" and she sends her son to school with pictures and has him invite everyone to come see him dance. It's not a bad strategy. But I know there will be remarks and teasing in years to come if Will sticks with it and I wonder if that will put an end to his dancing. He loves to dance and I hope he can get through whatever is ahead so that he can keep dancing.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The Mommy trap
A friend of mine told me about a full-time job in government that had a good salary and benefits. (Imagine!) But I did my usual, "Thanks but no thanks" response because I'm so entrenched in my life working part-time and balancing kids and other activities.
I'm sure this is a trap. My husband is a freelancer too and we could use the additional salary and while I'm doing much better financially than I have in the past, I'm not pulling in what I could bring in full-time. But the truth is, I'm so busy already trying to get the kids to their lessons and prodding them to do their homework and trying to cook, clean etc. And my house is still a horrible mess and I'm still frazzled.
Is it selfish of me to arrange my life so I can do all that? Is it stupidly short-sighted? Maybe. I'm certainly not moving forward very far in my career. The teaching is prestigious but low-paying and is basically a dead-end job unless I get a PhD and I can't bring myself to do that. The column is fun but low-paying. The freelancing at Princeton University is low paying but perhaps less challenging than I would like. Am I killing my career? Do I even have a career?
I always told myself that being a Mom comes first and I still feel that way but I'm also aware that my kids function pretty well without me. It's just the logistics of it. How would Will get to ballet or Raymond get to art? When would we do piano? I guess we'd join all those families who do those things on weekends or at night.
I guess I'd be willing to make all those sacrifices for a dream job but not for a job that made me feel trapped and frustrated. After all, I became a journalist because it's challenging and interesting.
Meanwhile, my blogging is just another excuse for me to while away time I should be using to eat lunch, work or clean my house. You've got to love that about blogging.
I'm sure this is a trap. My husband is a freelancer too and we could use the additional salary and while I'm doing much better financially than I have in the past, I'm not pulling in what I could bring in full-time. But the truth is, I'm so busy already trying to get the kids to their lessons and prodding them to do their homework and trying to cook, clean etc. And my house is still a horrible mess and I'm still frazzled.
Is it selfish of me to arrange my life so I can do all that? Is it stupidly short-sighted? Maybe. I'm certainly not moving forward very far in my career. The teaching is prestigious but low-paying and is basically a dead-end job unless I get a PhD and I can't bring myself to do that. The column is fun but low-paying. The freelancing at Princeton University is low paying but perhaps less challenging than I would like. Am I killing my career? Do I even have a career?
I always told myself that being a Mom comes first and I still feel that way but I'm also aware that my kids function pretty well without me. It's just the logistics of it. How would Will get to ballet or Raymond get to art? When would we do piano? I guess we'd join all those families who do those things on weekends or at night.
I guess I'd be willing to make all those sacrifices for a dream job but not for a job that made me feel trapped and frustrated. After all, I became a journalist because it's challenging and interesting.
Meanwhile, my blogging is just another excuse for me to while away time I should be using to eat lunch, work or clean my house. You've got to love that about blogging.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Reading Study
As a lifelong reader myself and the mother of two somewhat reluctant readers, I was struck by the National Endowment for the Arts study that came out this week on Americans reading habits, "To Read or Not To Read: A Question of National Consequence,"
http://www.nea.gov/news/news07/TRNR.html
The report found that Americans are reading less in almost every age group over the 20 years from 1984 to 2004. Less than one-third of all 13-year-olds are daily readers and only half of all young adults from 18 to 24 read a book for fun during the previous year.
While the percentage of 9-year-olds who read for pleasure every day has remained about the same - at 54 percent, the number of middle-school children, at age 13, who read for fun is just 35 percent, down 5 percent, and most shockingly, the percentage of teen-agers who read for pleasure dropped from 31 percent to 22 percent.
The results, according to the report, are lower test scores in reading among 17-year-olds, lower achievement in school and poor reading and writing skills in college and on the job. In other words, the drop in reading is very bad news for our society.
Why the big drop in readers? The report notes that big television watchers are less likely to be big readers. And the Internet may also be a factor. There's also a correlation between education and how likely people are to read. The report found that Hispanics had the lowest percentage reading for pleasure at 18 percent, followed by African-Americans at about 32 percent.
It's a disturbing trend. I know how many worlds can open up through books. And yes, the Internet does that as well but there is a distinction between reading on the Internet - which is mostly for information and communicating with others and reading a novel. But I've heard some experts say that the NEA report didn't take the Internet into account when measuring people's reading habits and they point to other studies that refute those findings. Here's a blog from Linda Frye Burnham at communityartsnetwork, www.communityarts.net/blog/archives/2007/11/new_nea_reading.php
that makes that point.
As a parent, I've done everything I can to make my kids readers. I read to them every night. I read myself. They have plenty of books at home and they each have library cards. And fortunately, the school makes them read a half hour a day as well. But while they sometimes get into the books they read, they read with their eye on the clock. Even when they've gotten into one book or another, it hasn't transferred to all books. When I was 10, I was reading "Little Women" and "The Secret Garden," and other classics. But I was an unusually bookish kid so I guess I can't expect that of kids. Then too, boys tend to choose non-fiction and look for books that are factual and my boys usually choose non-fiction over fiction. So that may be a factor as well.
And even though I'm a lifelong reader, I read a lot less too. Blame the Internet, blame TV, blame those darned kids. If it weren't for my monthly book club, I probably wouldn't read many books at all.
The report found that students who live in homes with fewer than 10 books scored much lower than those who lived in homes with 100 or more books. And that held true even when the scores of students from homes in which parents were high school educated but had plenty of books were compared with the scores of students who had college-educated parents but fewer than 10 books.
Another report by ETS and the Urban Institute
called "The Family: America's Smallest School," comes to some of the same conclusions asit looks at some of the factors at home that lead to school success. For a full report www.ets.org/Media/Education_Topics/pdf/5678_PERCReport_School.pdf
They cite factors such as growing up in a two-parent family, being read to as a child, having parents who are involved in their children's education and even having a wide variety of books and literature at home as factors in kid's school success. Duh. It all seems so very obvious and at the root of it, it still seems to boil down to whether a kid is poor or not poor. If you're a single mom, trying to make ends meet with no transportation, it's going to be very difficult to get to that parent-teacher conference in the middle of the work day or volunteer for the school play and chances are you're not going to have a lot of extra money for books and computers and all that good stuff our kids take for granted.
Still, it's good to remind parents that these things matter I guess. There are certainly plenty of success stories of kids who grew up in poor homes with parents who cared. But the more tangible suggestions: better day care, mentoring programs for children of single parents, make more sense to me, than this general "Woe is me," cry that we have too many single parents. Yes, there's a lot of single parents but that's a trend that's unlikely to reverse anytime soon.
Those of us who have read to our children since infancy and provided more books than they know what to do with know the hard truth: it's still hard to get them to read. I'm grateful the schools require half an hour a day or they might be reading even less. I know children who are avid readers but they seem to be born, not created. Are we all seeing a kind of literary Decline of Rome? I hope not. But who am I to talk? Here I am blogging instead of reading.
http://www.nea.gov/news/news07/TRNR.html
The report found that Americans are reading less in almost every age group over the 20 years from 1984 to 2004. Less than one-third of all 13-year-olds are daily readers and only half of all young adults from 18 to 24 read a book for fun during the previous year.
While the percentage of 9-year-olds who read for pleasure every day has remained about the same - at 54 percent, the number of middle-school children, at age 13, who read for fun is just 35 percent, down 5 percent, and most shockingly, the percentage of teen-agers who read for pleasure dropped from 31 percent to 22 percent.
The results, according to the report, are lower test scores in reading among 17-year-olds, lower achievement in school and poor reading and writing skills in college and on the job. In other words, the drop in reading is very bad news for our society.
Why the big drop in readers? The report notes that big television watchers are less likely to be big readers. And the Internet may also be a factor. There's also a correlation between education and how likely people are to read. The report found that Hispanics had the lowest percentage reading for pleasure at 18 percent, followed by African-Americans at about 32 percent.
It's a disturbing trend. I know how many worlds can open up through books. And yes, the Internet does that as well but there is a distinction between reading on the Internet - which is mostly for information and communicating with others and reading a novel. But I've heard some experts say that the NEA report didn't take the Internet into account when measuring people's reading habits and they point to other studies that refute those findings. Here's a blog from Linda Frye Burnham at communityartsnetwork, www.communityarts.net/blog/archives/2007/11/new_nea_reading.php
that makes that point.
As a parent, I've done everything I can to make my kids readers. I read to them every night. I read myself. They have plenty of books at home and they each have library cards. And fortunately, the school makes them read a half hour a day as well. But while they sometimes get into the books they read, they read with their eye on the clock. Even when they've gotten into one book or another, it hasn't transferred to all books. When I was 10, I was reading "Little Women" and "The Secret Garden," and other classics. But I was an unusually bookish kid so I guess I can't expect that of kids. Then too, boys tend to choose non-fiction and look for books that are factual and my boys usually choose non-fiction over fiction. So that may be a factor as well.
And even though I'm a lifelong reader, I read a lot less too. Blame the Internet, blame TV, blame those darned kids. If it weren't for my monthly book club, I probably wouldn't read many books at all.
The report found that students who live in homes with fewer than 10 books scored much lower than those who lived in homes with 100 or more books. And that held true even when the scores of students from homes in which parents were high school educated but had plenty of books were compared with the scores of students who had college-educated parents but fewer than 10 books.
Another report by ETS and the Urban Institute
called "The Family: America's Smallest School," comes to some of the same conclusions asit looks at some of the factors at home that lead to school success. For a full report www.ets.org/Media/Education_Topics/pdf/5678_PERCReport_School.pdf
They cite factors such as growing up in a two-parent family, being read to as a child, having parents who are involved in their children's education and even having a wide variety of books and literature at home as factors in kid's school success. Duh. It all seems so very obvious and at the root of it, it still seems to boil down to whether a kid is poor or not poor. If you're a single mom, trying to make ends meet with no transportation, it's going to be very difficult to get to that parent-teacher conference in the middle of the work day or volunteer for the school play and chances are you're not going to have a lot of extra money for books and computers and all that good stuff our kids take for granted.
Still, it's good to remind parents that these things matter I guess. There are certainly plenty of success stories of kids who grew up in poor homes with parents who cared. But the more tangible suggestions: better day care, mentoring programs for children of single parents, make more sense to me, than this general "Woe is me," cry that we have too many single parents. Yes, there's a lot of single parents but that's a trend that's unlikely to reverse anytime soon.
Those of us who have read to our children since infancy and provided more books than they know what to do with know the hard truth: it's still hard to get them to read. I'm grateful the schools require half an hour a day or they might be reading even less. I know children who are avid readers but they seem to be born, not created. Are we all seeing a kind of literary Decline of Rome? I hope not. But who am I to talk? Here I am blogging instead of reading.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
ADHD studies
I was happy to see an article in the New York Times on Tuesday, Nov. 13, that cited several studies showing bad behavior early in children's school careers doesn't doom they later in life. The studies . The studies found that children with attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder or ADHD have a delay in brain development rather than a deficit or flaw. That explains why many children "grow out of " ADHD as teen-agers.
One international study of 16,000 children found that disruptive or anti-social behavior in kindergarten doesn't lead to poor grades later in elementary school. The study is coming out in the Journal of Develolpmental Psychology.
A second study by the National Institute of Mental Health and McGill University http://www.nih.gov/news/pr/nov2007/nimh-12.html
used brain scans to show that the brains of children with ADHD developed more slowly than their peers and can be three years behind in some regions. The study is being published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, explains why many children seem to "grow out of " ADHD as teenagers. Here's a good blog, the Knight Science Journalism Tracker ksjtracker.mit.edu/?p=4745.
Both my children have ADHD and have periodically struggled in school. My younger son was constantly getting in trouble in kindergarten and first grade. He stabbed a boy with a pencil and we thought maybe he was well on his way to being an ax murderer. He got taken out of Spanish for being silly and repeating the word "pineapple." And his kindergarten teacher just didn't think he was getting it.
Our older son who has the inattentive brand of ADHD never had behavior problems. But he did have a third grade teacher who also claimed he wasn't getting it, didn't have an "analytical mind" and should be left back. In our hearts, we knew it was she who wasn't getting it.
But it's comforting to think of ADHD as a developmental problem and certainly we've seen huge changes in both our children, partly due to medication but also due to their maturation. Our older son comes home and does his homework and practices the piano. We're not having daily battles that leave us both in tears. I take this as a great gift and I like the idea that it's simply a brain development problem. Although I would like to know when my brain is going to mature. Oh well.
One international study of 16,000 children found that disruptive or anti-social behavior in kindergarten doesn't lead to poor grades later in elementary school. The study is coming out in the Journal of Develolpmental Psychology.
A second study by the National Institute of Mental Health and McGill University http://www.nih.gov/news/pr/nov2007/nimh-12.html
used brain scans to show that the brains of children with ADHD developed more slowly than their peers and can be three years behind in some regions. The study is being published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, explains why many children seem to "grow out of " ADHD as teenagers. Here's a good blog, the Knight Science Journalism Tracker ksjtracker.mit.edu/?p=4745.
Both my children have ADHD and have periodically struggled in school. My younger son was constantly getting in trouble in kindergarten and first grade. He stabbed a boy with a pencil and we thought maybe he was well on his way to being an ax murderer. He got taken out of Spanish for being silly and repeating the word "pineapple." And his kindergarten teacher just didn't think he was getting it.
Our older son who has the inattentive brand of ADHD never had behavior problems. But he did have a third grade teacher who also claimed he wasn't getting it, didn't have an "analytical mind" and should be left back. In our hearts, we knew it was she who wasn't getting it.
But it's comforting to think of ADHD as a developmental problem and certainly we've seen huge changes in both our children, partly due to medication but also due to their maturation. Our older son comes home and does his homework and practices the piano. We're not having daily battles that leave us both in tears. I take this as a great gift and I like the idea that it's simply a brain development problem. Although I would like to know when my brain is going to mature. Oh well.
Monday, November 12, 2007
In Princeton Township, N.J., there's an effort to become a sustainable town. That means we use up fewer resources, we try to come up with guidelines to be less wasteful and more environmentally friendly etc. I'm fully behind the idea and went to the first meeting with my own two cents. I advocated for sidewalks, so we could walk rather than use the car and I also advocated for banning plastic bags. It's still in the planning stages but they asked us to sign a sustainability pledge where we could opt to walk two more times a week, start a compose heap from our leaves and use five fluorescent light bulbs.
I pledged to do all that but we already walk to and from school most days, compost leaves and use lots of fluorescent light bulbs although I'm sure we could use more. (We're also not thrilled with the light but that's not another story).
Today though I feel like I'm no longer sustainable so I picked the kids up in the car. Oh well. My house isn't sustainable either. It needs to be recycled or something. I've reached that part of the year where I'm on a treadmill and I can't get off and I'm losing it. Literally. I lost my gradebook at my university, I've mixed up appointments and I got about five hours sleep last night, interrupted by the thought, "I have to bake muffins." Argh. Oh well. More on sustainability later I'm sure but here's the site: www.sustainableprinceton.org
I pledged to do all that but we already walk to and from school most days, compost leaves and use lots of fluorescent light bulbs although I'm sure we could use more. (We're also not thrilled with the light but that's not another story).
Today though I feel like I'm no longer sustainable so I picked the kids up in the car. Oh well. My house isn't sustainable either. It needs to be recycled or something. I've reached that part of the year where I'm on a treadmill and I can't get off and I'm losing it. Literally. I lost my gradebook at my university, I've mixed up appointments and I got about five hours sleep last night, interrupted by the thought, "I have to bake muffins." Argh. Oh well. More on sustainability later I'm sure but here's the site: www.sustainableprinceton.org
Thursday, November 8, 2007
I went to a cocktail party for Dress for Success yesterday,
http://www.dressforsuccess.org.
It's a group that provides suits for poor women who are going on job interviews and a whole week's worth of office clothes once they get the job, as well as job training and support. They just opened a new office in Mercer County, N.J. They showed a very touching video of women who have been helped by the group and they convinced me it's really a good way to help women. Some 20 percent of women in Mercer County, N.J. are poor so God knows anyone can offer help is doing something worthwhile. I don't know that it addresses the root causes of poverty but what organization does? Before we left, they asked us to donate or volunteer and I would like to do some volunteering and send some money although where I'll find the time or the money, I'm not sure.
But here I am at a cocktail party and I realized once again that I haven't been out in theworld much since having kids. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never been to a cocktail party. I asked my friends if having margaritas at a local park counts but I'm pretty sure that doesn't qualify as a cocktail party. I also realized that I don't really have any power suits myself although I'm not sure I want them either. My friends and I huddled in a corner scarfing down horsdouevres and wine and chatting. We didn't network or work the room and we arrived back at home at 8 p.m. because we couldn't bring ourselves to go out late and I had more work to do. I ended up staying up late grading papers. I guess I'm not a party animal and I'm pretty sure I'm not a cocktail party animal.
http://www.dressforsuccess.org.
It's a group that provides suits for poor women who are going on job interviews and a whole week's worth of office clothes once they get the job, as well as job training and support. They just opened a new office in Mercer County, N.J. They showed a very touching video of women who have been helped by the group and they convinced me it's really a good way to help women. Some 20 percent of women in Mercer County, N.J. are poor so God knows anyone can offer help is doing something worthwhile. I don't know that it addresses the root causes of poverty but what organization does? Before we left, they asked us to donate or volunteer and I would like to do some volunteering and send some money although where I'll find the time or the money, I'm not sure.
But here I am at a cocktail party and I realized once again that I haven't been out in theworld much since having kids. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never been to a cocktail party. I asked my friends if having margaritas at a local park counts but I'm pretty sure that doesn't qualify as a cocktail party. I also realized that I don't really have any power suits myself although I'm not sure I want them either. My friends and I huddled in a corner scarfing down horsdouevres and wine and chatting. We didn't network or work the room and we arrived back at home at 8 p.m. because we couldn't bring ourselves to go out late and I had more work to do. I ended up staying up late grading papers. I guess I'm not a party animal and I'm pretty sure I'm not a cocktail party animal.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Tap dancing as fast as I can
Just say no to tap dancing if you're already tap dancing too fast in life. That's what I did and it felt good although I had promised my friend I would dance my little heart out or at least give it a try. I'm already doing yoga and walking every morning and I have deadlines piling up and I'm volunteering for the school book fair and the silent auction for my choir. Yesterday, I felt my stress level rising and that old feeling of being overwhelmed returning and so I had to say no to tap dancing.
I know I'm getting stressed when I start losing things and forgetting things. I've been trying to schedule several interviews at once and I kept forgetting when they were and I rescheduled them and gave myself a lot mmore headaches. Then I left a folder in the parking lot and lost my parking ticket. I probably should have gone back to bed but I did some yoga and that helped a bit. It's the deep breathing that does it.
I also opted to not go to my choir performance tonight but instead go to a friend's cocktail party where she is launching the non-profit she is heading. To do that required several calls to a babysitter and a desperate search to drive my older son home from art. A cocktail party! Imagine! I don't think I've ever been to a cocktail party. I have asked my friends if margaritas in the park count but I'm pretty sure it doesn't. Not to sound like a girly girl but what do you wear to a cocktail party. Hmm.
Yesterday we bought the music book for Hair and my younger son and I sang together. It is such a genuine pleasure in my life and I'm glad they've been able to enjoy music with me. It's a great gift.
My older son asked me to proof his paper on Shakespeare yesterday only he spelled it Shakesphere and he said that someone was insuccessful. "It's not a word," I told him. "Yes it is," he insisted. "Look it up. I'll be you $10 it's not a word," I told him. "I don't have to look it up. I know it's a word," he said. Finally I exploded, "If you teach writing at a university, raise your hand. It's not a word." I'm pretty sure this is immature and insuccessful parenting and will lead to therapy later in life. Oh well.
I know I'm getting stressed when I start losing things and forgetting things. I've been trying to schedule several interviews at once and I kept forgetting when they were and I rescheduled them and gave myself a lot mmore headaches. Then I left a folder in the parking lot and lost my parking ticket. I probably should have gone back to bed but I did some yoga and that helped a bit. It's the deep breathing that does it.
I also opted to not go to my choir performance tonight but instead go to a friend's cocktail party where she is launching the non-profit she is heading. To do that required several calls to a babysitter and a desperate search to drive my older son home from art. A cocktail party! Imagine! I don't think I've ever been to a cocktail party. I have asked my friends if margaritas in the park count but I'm pretty sure it doesn't. Not to sound like a girly girl but what do you wear to a cocktail party. Hmm.
Yesterday we bought the music book for Hair and my younger son and I sang together. It is such a genuine pleasure in my life and I'm glad they've been able to enjoy music with me. It's a great gift.
My older son asked me to proof his paper on Shakespeare yesterday only he spelled it Shakesphere and he said that someone was insuccessful. "It's not a word," I told him. "Yes it is," he insisted. "Look it up. I'll be you $10 it's not a word," I told him. "I don't have to look it up. I know it's a word," he said. Finally I exploded, "If you teach writing at a university, raise your hand. It's not a word." I'm pretty sure this is immature and insuccessful parenting and will lead to therapy later in life. Oh well.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I am a writer and a mom who writes a parenting column for the local newspaper and this is my first attempt at blogging. I have to admit that I'm skeptical about this new form of communicating with the world and I'm also skeptical that anyone would read this. It feels a little like throwing a message in a bottle and then tossing it out to sea.
I have two boys, ages 8 and 10, and I'm struggling with all the usual dilemmas: work versus parenting versus personal time versus sleeping time, worrying about just about everything from global warming to parent teacher conferences.
This week, I am recuperating from Halloween and still sneaking into my children's Halloween bags to steal their candy. My nightime eating habbits are definitely in conflict with my attempts to get healthy by walking and doing yoga. I'm also looking at a crazy schedule that seems destined to get crazier over the next month. My friend wants me to take tap dancing lessons with her. How do I tell her that I'm already tap dancing as hard as I can? I'm signed up to work at the PTO book fair at my sons' school but I've already had to move appointments around to do that. You get the picture.
I interrupted two moms on the schoolyard yesterday and one mom said to me, "We're talking about teenagers and sex. We're convinced all teenage girls are having sex." Yikes. I can't even go there.
On Saturday, we took the kids to see a local production of "Beauty and the Beast," and we discussed the meaning on the way home. We talked about how it's all about how Beauty fell in love with the Beast because she got to know him and she turned him back into a prince. "Is that what it was like for you and Daddy?" my younger son wanted to know. "No, your father was a prince," I said. "Then he turned into a beast after you got married," he said. We all roared with laughter.
My younger son says he wants to get married when he gets older because "I want someone to keep me company" and "I want to have children." I told him he should make sure he's in love and date a lot of girls first. He's only 8. He has some time.
I have two boys, ages 8 and 10, and I'm struggling with all the usual dilemmas: work versus parenting versus personal time versus sleeping time, worrying about just about everything from global warming to parent teacher conferences.
This week, I am recuperating from Halloween and still sneaking into my children's Halloween bags to steal their candy. My nightime eating habbits are definitely in conflict with my attempts to get healthy by walking and doing yoga. I'm also looking at a crazy schedule that seems destined to get crazier over the next month. My friend wants me to take tap dancing lessons with her. How do I tell her that I'm already tap dancing as hard as I can? I'm signed up to work at the PTO book fair at my sons' school but I've already had to move appointments around to do that. You get the picture.
I interrupted two moms on the schoolyard yesterday and one mom said to me, "We're talking about teenagers and sex. We're convinced all teenage girls are having sex." Yikes. I can't even go there.
On Saturday, we took the kids to see a local production of "Beauty and the Beast," and we discussed the meaning on the way home. We talked about how it's all about how Beauty fell in love with the Beast because she got to know him and she turned him back into a prince. "Is that what it was like for you and Daddy?" my younger son wanted to know. "No, your father was a prince," I said. "Then he turned into a beast after you got married," he said. We all roared with laughter.
My younger son says he wants to get married when he gets older because "I want someone to keep me company" and "I want to have children." I told him he should make sure he's in love and date a lot of girls first. He's only 8. He has some time.
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