Just Say No To Brownies

I often think fondly of a book that came out a few years ago in which the heroine buys brownies from the story and then brings them home and attempts to make them look home-made by smashing the edges a bit and cutting a few irregular pieces.

I was tempted to do just that yesterday when I stupidly agreed to make brownies for a teacher’s luncheon hosted by our local parent teacher organization on the same day I started reaching my college journalism class.

But rather than sensibly buying store-bought brownies, I attempted to whip up the brownies and get myself ready for school. Then I left the whole pan with my husband and asked him to cut them up, place them on a nice plate and bring them into school.

The result was a gloppy mess that my husband basically had to mold into brownie form. No one would mistake these brownies for store bought! (When I came home I popped the leftovers in the oven and they tasted pretty good).

Why do we do these things to ourselves? It’s that whole “I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan” mentality. I wanted to show that I could do it all and I only half succeeded. I showed that I might be able to do it all but I just couldn't do it that well.

I’d like to say that next time I’ll have the smarts to buy brownies and that I would even be cool enough not to bother making them look homemade. But the truth is that next time I would probably do the same thing. I seem to be determined to show that I am both a splendid homemaker and a fabulous teacher and mother. Yeah, right.

The ultimate solution, of course, is not to buy brownies at all. It's to politely but firmly refuse. After all, I was starting school on the same day as my son’s elementary school teachers and nobody was going to bake me brownies. Needless to say this option didn’t even occur to me.

Still, I would like to get to that level. It’s like some higher level of consciousness that you can only attain after years of meditation and reflection. Or maybe there will come a day when I simply can’t do it. When that day comes, I hope I will at last have the good sense and courage to just say no to brownies.

Brownie photo from piesandbass.wordpress.com

There comes a point every summer when I’m ready for my kids to go back. That time is now. My cute, fun boys seem a little bit less adorable at the end of summer, perhaps because they seem bent on annoying me to death.


They have a number of tricks to do that. They’ve been switching the TV on with the sound low, they whine about taking trips to their favorite store, they call each other names and bicker and they jump on the bed when they should be sleeping on the bed. It's all harmless and typical kid stuff. I just need a little less of it. You've heard of the vacation and the staycation? I'm ready for the schoolcation.

I know we’re supposed to be getting them back to a regular schedule now but it’s not easy. My kids have become night owls. Loud, screeching night owls who prevent us from relaxing at night with their incessant hooting.

I’m guessing that this means that we are going to have a very hard transition into school land. The kids will be sad and sleepy. I’ll be like the dad in the Staples commercial skating through the store singing, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” while my kids watch dolefully.

Don’t get me wrong, summer’s been fun. We’ve splashed in the pool the pool and at the beach. We’ve camped, we’ve barbecued, we’ve ridden bikes and taken hikes and now I’m done. I’ve had enough playing and I want to go back to work. I want to live in a house that doesn’t look like it was picked up in a hurricane and turned upside down. I want to be able to work in peace and quiet. I need less quality time, not more.

I know there are plenty of downsides to school starting. There’s making lunch and supervising homework and signing permission slips and driving my kids to sports and dance and piano lessons. But I’m willing to pay the price to get them out of the house for seven hours every day.

Will I feel a pang of regret on the day they go back to school? Sure. Will that pang turn to a big grin when I realize they won’t be underfoot all day? As Sarah Palin might say, “You betcha.”

Vacation lessons

I just got home from our summer vacation on the Shore and when I picture my summer vacation, I picture myself sitting on the porch in a wicker rocking chair with my feet up reading the newspaper and sipping a cup of tea.

That routine won’t work in my “real” life. I would have to stop working myself and my kids would go to school half an hour late with no lunches and dirty faces. And since that can happen even when I am on duty, I have to think of other ways to bring that vacation mindset into “real life.”

I may not be able to while away the mornings over the New York Times but I should be able to find a time to take a break during the day. My friend Diane naps before dinner. I’m hoping I can find a few minutes to stretch out while the kids are doing homework and allow myself some down time without thinking about laundery and shopping lists.

My husband and I took daily walks on the beach on vacation and it made us feel like we were on our honeymoon. It’s funny because we see each other every day but between the daily chores and bill paying and errands to do, we rarely get to just chat. So I realized once again how important it to find those moments, whether it’s a date night or just a walk around the block together.

Our family tends to relax in front of the television at night. But while that’s fun too, it’s great to unplug and move your body around. This vacation also made me realize that I need to keep walking every day and find more time to do yoga and meditate. All of those things provide a small window of relaxation in a busy day.

We spent almost every day sitting on the beach and splashing in the water and that’s just not possible in our daily lives. But we can try to spend some times outdoor every day. With no TV at our beach house, they were out on their pogo sticks or skateboarding or riding their scooters through town. So we need to try to find time to play outdoors, whether that means shooting baskets or puttering in the garden.

Having vacationed with two other families and their children, I also realize how important it is to find time to be with friends. It brings more joy and laughter into our lives just to break bread or play games with other people. . Sometimes we get so busy that we forget that we don’t need a fancy dinner or a big party to see friends, we can just order out pizza and still have a great time enjoying each other’s company.

All of this is easier said than done in the daily frenzy of our lives. Even with the best of intentions, I know there willl be many days when there is no time to relax until 11 or 12 at night and that’s OK. But I hope I won’t forget to give myself a little vacation time when I can and to remember that work and school and paying bills is important but we also need to find time to play. And that’s what I learned on my summer vacation.

Photo of Ocean Grove from The Coaster