Dreading summer

Would it be wrong of me to say that I dread the summer with my kids out of school for a whole month. OK, maybe dread is too strong a word. I just haven't gotten into summer mode yet and it feels like I've forgotten how to relax. I've spent so much time being the drill sergeant, I don't know if I can go back to being the recreation director.

I know it will be fun having the kids home and they're going to be 10 and 12 so they're big enough to amuse themselves. I think I can sum up my anxiety with two words: video games. My kids are addicted and I anticipate an entire summer playing computer police when they'd like nothing better than to play computer games from sunup to sundown and beyond.

We'll do lots of activities and we'll splash around in the pool every day. I also will be encouraging them - OK forcing them - to read, practice the piano and do a little bit of review school work. I've never done that before but they struggled this year so we're going to have to do some schoolwork. Come to think of it, maybe my policing days aren't over.

If I'm honest the other thing I'm dreading is that I won't find any time for myself. I'll be sucked into the full-time mom thing and forget that I'm trying to write every day. I'll stop having adult conversations. I'm sure I will find a way to do both but I guess I've become selfish about my time.

But all that aside, summer is my favorite season. All these scenarios I'm griping about? The lack of a schedule, the long lazy days? I love all that. I just have to learn again how to stop rushing around like a crazy person and read a book or sit by the pool. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it with a little practice.