No Kids in the Neighborhood

One thing that's different for my kids is that we don't live in a neighborhood where there are kids to play with and that makes me kind of sad for my kids.

When I was a kid, we just went outside and knocked on someone's door for a play date and then we would play all day. We'd go to someone's house and play for a few hours: I remember long games of Monopoly and some playing with Barbies (although I never loved Barbie). Then, we'd move on to someone else's house or come back to our house where we'd have elaborate pretend games or we'd jump in the sprinkler.

In my memory, adults were scarce. Mothers would pop in once in awhile to tell us to be quiet because a younger brother or sister was napping or they'd come out with some Kool-Aid or watermelon but supervision was minimal at best.

When we got older, we'd wander a couple of blocks away and wouldn't come home until we heard our mothers calling or they came looking for us. When we were about 12 or 13 or a little older, we'd ride our bikes to the local pool and stay there all day. When there was nobody to play with, I'd spend the day with my head in a book.

Unfortunately, there are very few kids in our neighborhood and the few who live within walking distance are at camp or on vacation. As a result, the only time we only get together with other families when I set up playdates.

I have a fantasy of sending my kids to visit their friends but this means they will literally have to go over a river (OK a little stream but still) or through the woods.

It also means that both of us would have to get used to that independence. I would have to let them go and they would have to accept the responsibility of finding friends on their own. They're so used to either playing by themselves or having me set up play dates, I'm not sure they're up to the task without some major push from me.

Having my kids go out and find kids to play with would solve a lot of the challenges of having the kids home in the summer: the constant turning off of the TV and confiscating the computer and the two boys squabbling. They're all a result of the two boys being a little bored and a little tired of each other.

Maybe we can never go back to the "good old days." Maybe we know too much about the dangers to kids from child molesters and other creeps to let them be quite as free as we were.

But one day this summer, I'm going to give them that little shove out the door to go find some fun on their own. I'd love to let them see what that freedom feels like, even if they knock on some doors and nobody's home.