Cell Phone Pressure

My younger son, W., wants a cell phone in the worst way. He has wanted one since he was 8. Now at age 10, he is outraged that we want him to wait until sixth grade, as his brother did, before we buy one for him.

“It’s so unfair,” he complained to me the other day during a long tirade in which he whined, begged, pleaded and offered to pay half the monthly fee.

When W. was 8, I just laughed that he wanted a cell phone. “You’re never away from us,” I said. “Why would you need a cell phone?.”

But now he has dance lessons and rehearsals and there are times when he could probably use a cell phone. Still, I’m reluctant to give in to the pressure of “I need a cell phone.” He doesn’t need a cell phone. He just wants one. Badly.

W. also told me that a kid at his camp made fun of him for not having a cell phone. I found this humorous because I’m sure only a handful of kids at his camp, which is the town recreation camp not some fancy schmancy day camp, don’t have cell phones.

So, that led to a discussion about how “you can’t always get what you want,” as the Rolling Stones say and how there will always be people with more and less than you have.

This line of reasoning didn’t work because W. wants what he wants. And I know that feeling. He doesn’t want to hear about economic realities and he doesn’t want to hear that his brother got a cell phone in sixth grade so he should do. He’s a younger child and he sees it as unjust that he had to wait for two years. R. wasn’t waiting, he says.

“In my day we had to dial our phones from home!” I want to shout. “If we wanted to call home, we had to find a pay phone! Our idea of texting was passing a note in class!”

But this would only get me blank stares. So, I grit my teeth and wait for the next onslaught. Is it our fault that our pampered kids think they should have everything their hearts desire? You bet it is. Should we resist the urge to give in? We should not. We should just say no for as long as we can. Maybe a little deprivation will teach our kids that the Rolling Stones really were right. “But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

Image from caise07.idi.ntnu.no