There comes a point every summer when I’m ready for my kids to go back. That time is now. My cute, fun boys seem a little bit less adorable at the end of summer, perhaps because they seem bent on annoying me to death.


They have a number of tricks to do that. They’ve been switching the TV on with the sound low, they whine about taking trips to their favorite store, they call each other names and bicker and they jump on the bed when they should be sleeping on the bed. It's all harmless and typical kid stuff. I just need a little less of it. You've heard of the vacation and the staycation? I'm ready for the schoolcation.

I know we’re supposed to be getting them back to a regular schedule now but it’s not easy. My kids have become night owls. Loud, screeching night owls who prevent us from relaxing at night with their incessant hooting.

I’m guessing that this means that we are going to have a very hard transition into school land. The kids will be sad and sleepy. I’ll be like the dad in the Staples commercial skating through the store singing, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” while my kids watch dolefully.

Don’t get me wrong, summer’s been fun. We’ve splashed in the pool the pool and at the beach. We’ve camped, we’ve barbecued, we’ve ridden bikes and taken hikes and now I’m done. I’ve had enough playing and I want to go back to work. I want to live in a house that doesn’t look like it was picked up in a hurricane and turned upside down. I want to be able to work in peace and quiet. I need less quality time, not more.

I know there are plenty of downsides to school starting. There’s making lunch and supervising homework and signing permission slips and driving my kids to sports and dance and piano lessons. But I’m willing to pay the price to get them out of the house for seven hours every day.

Will I feel a pang of regret on the day they go back to school? Sure. Will that pang turn to a big grin when I realize they won’t be underfoot all day? As Sarah Palin might say, “You betcha.”