Walking to School

We live on a block where there are no sidewalks and cars speed down our street at 40 miles per hour.

The sidewalk issue has been a contentious one here in Princeton. For us, having no sidewalks means it’s nearly impossible for us to let our 10-year-old walk to school by himself without putting his life at risk.

This is what we tell ourselves anyway. We walk him to school every day and one of us picks him up after school every day. It’s a time when we get to talk to him about his day and we get to walk off some of our midlife bulge.

But my seventh grader doesn't let us walk him to school anymore. He made it clear from the start of middle school that he wanted nothing to do with us accompanying him to school. He zips off with his friends on his bike and leaves us in the dust.

He's forced to tolerate us when we drive him to school during bad weather and bitter cold. But only until the spring when he’s off again.

I was interested to see the New York Times story on Sunday, “Why Can’t She Walk To School,” that details the dilemma parents face of when to let their kids walk to school by themselves. Some parents have gotten grief from other parents, school administrators and even police for letting their kids go solo.

It made me think about the fact that there are just a handful of kids at my son’s grammar school who walk by themselves. One friend let her children walk home by themselves but only if they had a cell phone that allowed her to track their whereabouts.

I feel slightly embarrassed to be among the legion of parents who accompany their kids everywhere, even to and from school. My parents never dreamed of walking us to school and they drove us only when it was serious rain or snow. No light sprinkle would do.

I want to say that we walked to school without ever having any problems. But now that I think about it, there was that guy who offered us candy to get in his car. We refused and when we came home and told my mom about it, she was understandably upset.

But hey that was in the dark ages. It didn’t occur to my mom to call the police. There were no bulletins that went out warning parents about the man. My mother told us to be careful and tell her if he bothered us again and that was the end of it.

I don’t want to bring back those days. I don't think a little caution is such a bad thing. But at the same time I want kids to have some independence.

For us, the walk to school is more about family time than protection. And it’s more about those speeding cars than it is about child predators. For us, walking to school with our child is all about savoring this last year of grammar school before our youngest child joins his brother and takes off on his own.

There comes a point when even if we insist on holding our kids hands, they let go. That’s when we have to stop our clinging and allow them to walk off without us.

Photo from blog.mlive.com