Role Reversal

My husband is driving the minivan to pick up the kids every day and I’m taking the sedan to work.

This makes sense because my husband is home and I have a new five-day-a-week copyediting job in addition to my teaching gig and it all adds up to a full-time job. So he’s picking up the kids from school and ferrying them to ballet and tennis and piano lessons.

In other words, he’s me.

It’s only been one week but already I can see ways where this role reversal is wonderful. My husband folded the laundry in front of football the other day. I came home one day last week and the kitchen was sparkling and today he bought a few things at the grocery store.

Then there’s the darker side of this equation. I’m trying to overlook the fact that there were dishes in the sink when I came home today and the laundry is still sitting on the couch.

My first week at the new job was a comedy of errors. I mixed up appointments and piano lessons. My husband drove hither and yon only to find that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It would be humorous if it weren't so unfuriating.

Finally, I gave my husband a mom’s calendar with a spot for Mom’s activities and the kid’s calendar. I crossed out “Mom” and wrote in “Dad.” The calendar has all of our kids’ numerous lessons and appointments. I know he finds this obnoxious but I haven’t seen any Dad calendars out there.

The other day my husband reminded me that the school picnic was Tuesday. “Come on sweetie,” he said. “This role reversal is going too far.” So I guess he’s feeling it too.

I wish I could say I miss picking the kids up from school but I’m OK with that. So far, I haven’t had any heart wrenching “Why can’t you come on the class trip?” moments. I’m even on the PTO although I had to leave the meeting early to go to work.

The role reversal thing doesn’t go too far. My husband is more interested in painting the house than in preparing dinner and I like to cook, so that’s OK with me. He doesn’t make the bed and he doesn’t have much interest in cleaning up on a daily basis.

The truth is we’re a work in progress. We haven’t figured out exactly how to do this. I’m sure there will be days where I’m resentful and vice versa. If he finds a job in this crazy economy and I really hope he does, then we’ll open up a whole new chapter of babysitters and after-school programs and then the juggling will really begin.

For now, I’m content to let my husband take over the minivan and I don’t mind slipping into the sedan and playing the role of bread earner for a while. It’s a different feeling being in this particular driver’s seat but it works for now.